Chaos and Caffeine

Dear Spritopias has made mention of a mutual rehab stint and oh, that it were so. That sound like it might be preferable to the trials and tribulations of being a mom with teens. I wonder if they take people who would like to start drinking because their kids are driving them crazy? I could really use a break from the homefront.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. My kids are good kids, great kids, cool kids. In fact, my life would not be half as much fun or rewarding without them. However, my kids are not perfect kids. Moreover, I am not a perfect mom and their dad is not a perfect dad. Okay, I may almost perfect but still… not quite. Their dad is less perfect than me in that his sensibilities are so easily offended. For instance, he cannot abide chaos – which from his perspective can be something as simple as somebody switching around their schedule or not cleaning their room. I, on the other hand say – adjust your calendar, close the door, pick your battles. As you might imagine, these two significantly different parenting styles do not often find an easy meeting of the minds. Yet, such is – so often – the life of the parent.

Chaos loves our house. I might rent it a room if I thought it would cough up the rent. The last two weeks alone has been mostly composed of unforeseen dramas for which I get no compensation for withstanding with remarkable grace – most times not even a thank you can be expected. Evidently, I am forced to work in this reality series without cameras for only my room and board. If I didn’t like Suburban Island so much I would be tempted to protest. I tell you, it’s a modern form of indentured servitude from which, as far as I can see, there is no natural end. We have endured apartment hunting, roommates unexpectedly bailing, college applications, summer job interviews, late schoolwork, a car accident (which my kid was not responsible for – thank God but did some damage to the car we acquired for him within the last six months), a visit to the emergency room for x-rays that lasted longer than the entire A&E Pride and Prejudice miniseries (a personal favorite of mine), missed days of school and the subsequent pile of extra homework for my son, a broken washing machine (which sorely tested my husband's patience and belief in the justice of the universe), an invasion of ants, and more – so much more.

A lot of the much more has to do with the running battle between my two kids, who fight like they are paid mercenaries every time they glimpse each other. If I could find out who their commanding officers were, I'd negotiate a cease fire. Sadly, I cannot and the battle wages on, day and night, in the most unrelenting fashion. Ah, my kingdom for some peace.

I filter all this through sips of iced tea, dulce de leche lattes, and the constant drone of my iPod. It seems to help. I suppose it will have to do as I don’t think there are any rehab programs for fancy coffee drink addicts – at least as yet.

Comments

[Christopias Spritopher]

I have lived with Chaos for 28 years, Chaos Bean and I tell you what. It's crazy. It's a pain in the ass. It's the most fun you'll ever have.

[Christopias Spritopher]

I have lived with Chaos for 28 years, Chaos Bean and I tell you what. It's crazy. It's a pain in the ass. It's the most fun you'll ever have.

[Laura]

ummm......sounds like you have been spending time in our house....

if you find a solution - do tell!

[kenju]

My two girls have been fighting for 35 years. I hope I live long enough to see them become real friends.

[Blue Opal]

There's never an end to the kid issues, though after they finally move out, it does ease up a little. I hope. (At least, that's what I was told, though I can't really vouch for it from personal experience!)

[Margaret]

Our two girls are getting along OK, as long as they don't live with each other. That is, literally, the killer! As for chaos, I learned to shut doors a long time ago. It helps with my blood pressure.