The Chore-Maker

Is there a kind of helpfulness that is really just a way to get us to do stuff that other people think we should do?

I am beginning to suspect that perhaps there is.

Today my son and I went to see a movie and when we came home my husband had taken all my shoes and put them out in a bin in the garage. Now, I ask you - what woman wants her shoes in an open bin in the garage? There are sure to be a few silverfish in the garage. There are most likely crickets in the garage. There are probably a few spiders in the garage. There may be other yet unaccounted for things too - things that might scamper unbidden into our garage as the weather cools - like mice - that I'd rather not know about. I mean it's a garage and a woman's shoes - even if they are stinky and all tossed under the kitchen table - should not be removed to a place that she is not going to willing proceed each morning in bare feet in her quest for the appropriate footware in which she will march forth to meet her day. Furthermore, the idea of something jumping out of that bin at me as I paw through my shoe selection some random a.m. is enough to give me nightmares for weeks.

From his angle, he is just taking care of something that needed doing. He doesn't like shoes piled up under the dining room table. He thinks it is unsanitary and an unsightly mess. He's right - I'm sure - but if he knew how much some of these shoes cost I am confident he wouldn't be tossing them in the garage in an uncovered bin. I think I'll leave him in the dark about that part. I did explain to him about the general garage concerns, however. The result isn't really that satisfactory from my perspective.

He brought the bin inside.

Great.

It's down in my family room now. Just what I need. One more box of stuff in my family room that needs to organized somehow. That's why the damn shoes were under the kitchen table where at least they were out of sight yet still handy in the mornings. I know it's not ideal but our house isn't huge and storage space is at a minimum. And...I really do like shoes. Maybe a little too much.

I know I should be appreciative that my man is helping out around the house but it seems to me that what he is really doing is cutting into line with his list of chores for me - chores that really were much lower down on my own list - and forcing me to put these pre-started chores at the top of my list so that I have to do them ahead of what I really wanted to get done. Hey buddy - that's a form of line jumping.

For instance, last week - on Tuesday - he decided to help me out by scraping off the gem gel panorama that I had put on one of the set of big family room windows a couple years ago. They had slowly begun to look a bit the worse for wear - it's true. Essentially, some of them had started to melt due to the intense heat of the sun beating on those front windows. It didn't look very attractive anymore and I was working on getting the windows gem gel free again. I had already done the other set of windows last weekend. It took me hours. He did not help. Frankly, I was not ready to tackle the others for a while. It was not on my list this weekend.

Or so I thought.

I was wrong.

My husband decided to help me out by starting the other windows without asking me how that would work out from my side. Now there are no gem gels but it looks worse than with the gem gels in place. He did the simple part of the scraping (peeling off the big gem gels with a paint scraper) that I actually kind of like doing but not the real hard scraping (taking all the insets out of the window so that you can actually scrape off the really melted goo and then scrub down the glass inside and out) that I really hate doing. So now the project is started but I don't have time (or desire) to finish it. I guess he is being helpful but I didn't ask him to help because I really wasn't going to do that project for awhile. Now I have to do the project. I told him I would not be able to work on it for awhile and asked him if he could finish the effort he began. He told me - no.

Why do I feel like I have just been scammed? Now I am saddled with a chore I was trying to elude. Not being able to duck a chore really makes me grouchy and also reluctant to cooperate with the chore-maker.

I did not do the chores he whipped up for me this weekend. That will teach him. Tomorrow morning when I am looking out of that sticky window trying to find my shoes in a big plastic bin without any hope of success I will realize that neither one of us has won the battle. That'll teach me too.

Comments

[Christopias Spritopher]

You chore for next Friday is to buy a shoe rack at IKEA, your chore for Saturday morning is to be build it, as loudly as possible before everyone else is awake to encourage said awakeness and helpfulness. A month or so of this and everyone will start pulling their own weight.

[art]

i can never understand why people need more than, ok, 2 pairs of shoes!! i dunno. sounds like you guys need to sit down and comprimise!! good luck!!

[boxx]

My daughter has more shoes than a centipede. I bought her a very attractive over the door shoe rack and it got all her shoes off the floor and saved space, too. I think I bought it at TARGET.

[kenju]

I vote for the over the door rack!

[Christopias Spritopher]

Suburban Island is a sophisticated adult, an over-the-door deal won't do; it's her home not her dorm. Also, an over-the-door rack will make no noise in assembly ruining the whole "the rest of you need to start helping mom" mojo she needs to start working. She's a mom, not a martyr. The need to put down the frappachino, get off the couch and help her.

[Margaret]

I can't stand it when my husband thinks he knows what I ought to be doing. It makes me quite rebellious, and that is not a pretty sight.

[Christopias Spritopher]

Why are the people who are supposed to be in charge, rebelling? He's rebelling. That's the first problem: you're not in charge! Homework: Fix that!

Also, as a Graduate Student I decided to do research. I have left my shoes in no less that five places - two of them are not even in my own home. Maybe it would help if your split your shoes up and hid them throughout the home.