Suburban Island

Training Illusions

QUESTION: What's that on your computer screen?

WHAT I LEARNED: Friday afternoons should be banned.

Part of my job involves training people. Yesterday I had two training classes set up at the same place – one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The coordinator for the training is just so amazingly nice that I’d like to take her with me to all my appointments – she makes it easy for me to do my job. The training room is brand-new beautiful. I was on a training roll in the morning. Hmm. The day was going suspiciously well. The afternoon was not so simple. The reason for that is simple enough though – simple human nature.

Do you know what the worst time for training adults has to be on a sliding scale of bad to worst? I’d say it goes in this particular order: Training after lunch, training after lunch on Friday, training after lunch on the Friday before a three-day holiday weekend, training after lunch on Friday before a three-day holiday weekend after received an email from management at your own organization saying that they consider your Friday done at noon and have a lovely holiday weekend – that is if you have no pending appointments on your schedules. Darn. Now that’s the worst kind of class to teach on a Friday afternoon.

The afternoon turned out to be unexpectedly illuminating, funny, and a little traumatizing for some – like my whole afternoon class. I am now just a bit wiser in the ways of students with individual computer workstations in the classroom than I was 24 hours ago. The temptation to explore online, to multi-task, and just basically get lost in your own little electronic world is just too strong for many to resist.

We were all doing pretty well together – I was projecting my voice all the way to the back of the class, I was telling them things they needed to know if a positive and upbeat manner, I was moving the class along a good clip so that we could all finish up a little early. Near the very end of the class, one of the attendees asked me a very pertinent question. I began to walk the class through the steps online in answer. I stopped at a point and asked them if they had come to a particular screen and described it. They looked at me like I had just stepped off the Star Wars III backlot without removing my costume and makeup. How curious…

I took a stroll to the first row of computers to see what the problem could possibly be and I see the first student in the row is not in the right place. I think maybe she just couldn’t keep up with what I was showing them – but at least she was trying. Then I notice that the guy next to her was reading email. I start to look at everyone’s computer up and down each row – not one of them was were they were supposed to be. In all fairness, it was probably the last question of the class, however it was pretty surprising to me – upon discovering the state of affairs – and to them – at being discovered slacking off on the final example.

Yup, they were all busted.

This was indeed an ironic end to my Friday-afternoon-before-a-three-day-weekend-when-I-could-have-been-home-already class. I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. It was so ridiculous – they had all been a little too relaxed and non-participatory at the tail end of the training but they were so secure in the illusion that nobody would notice. Someone did. I think the coordinator was more traumatized then anyone. It’s not easy being a training coordinator - especially a really nice one.

You guys are really scamming me here – I laughed. It was the truth but it was also pretty funny. I went back up to the front of the classroom, finished answering the question, and gave up any pretense of the expectation of further participation. It seemed that we had really finished up a few minutes earlier anyway.

I am sure they learned a valuable lesson – it’s dangerous to fake class participation. You have to hang in there to the bitter end. You can never tell when someone is going to figure out your not doing your class work. Besides, you may need the stuff someday - especially professional training in the workplace. You might need it right away in order to get your job done.

Me – I learned that things aren’t always as they seem and that just because somebody looks like they are doing something doesn’t mean they actually are. I also learned it’s important not to take yourself or the merely irritating moments in life too seriously.

Especially on a Friday afternoon before a three-day weekend when you really could have been home starting your holiday weekend at high noon.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher, President - 2005-05-28 12:11:13
They have programs that can monitor online use while people are in classes like that, and the instructor can pull up people's screens from their console. How embarrasing for me when he was reading my IM about how awfully boring he was? Not as embarrasing as the girl in the back row who had 'accidentally' pulled up porn. A program I would want to have in my computer lab? Ignorance is bliss, SI. Ignorance is bliss.
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l-empress - 2005-05-28 12:38:09
My U.D. once used the monitoring program to report an instructor who had been doing his own thing *while allowing her -- one of the students -- to instruct the others.* How much simpler it was when we took manual notes; I wrote my comments in German script, which was obsolescent even then.
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Poolagirl - 2005-05-28 12:42:24
How funny! I sent this to one of my friends who is a trainer too - and could he ever relate!
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radiogurl - 2005-05-28 13:01:33
Heee - I'm afraid I'd be one of the guilty ones, though I would at LEAST have multiple windows open so I was both following the instructor and surfing *Whistles innocently*
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cosmic - 2005-05-28 14:01:42
I often check my e-mail at work. Once in a while my boss will come around my desk, so I have a second window minimized with our program on it. One click and back I go. I know the law of averages says I will get caught someday.
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Christopias Spritopher, President - 2005-05-28 16:16:44
Our classroom motto is, no kidding, "You ought never do wrong while someone is looking" Mark "Shania" Twain
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purple chai - 2005-05-28 17:40:55
Sounds like you were sandbagged. Who was the idiot who told them they had the afternoon off, no, oops, gotta go to a class instead?
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summersands - 2005-05-28 20:10:15
I like how you turned that into a positive ... I've been caught at work surfin' the net ... after reading some of the notes above, it looks like I'm not the only one (wink).
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TheChemister - 2005-05-28 22:47:15
I'm not supprised. It's how I get through most of my classes.
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Jim - 2005-05-29 09:07:01
I know exactly what you mean! That kind of thing stopped a couple of years ago at our site when (for security reasons, to keep non-employee attendees from having access inside corporate firewall) our classrooms were placed on their own network with no connectivity outside of their network. Bye-bye Internet. I see a similar behavior at a major combination training and corporate rah-rah even my company runs each year -- big training sessions in large darkened spaces and dozens of laptops with wireless connectivity doing e-mail, surfing the Web, instant-messaging, etc.
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pollyprince - 2005-05-30 09:13:29
I'm really bad, always surfing the net at work, one day I'm sure they are going to unload on me ... they've done it once before, maybe I'm hoping it will happen (a blessing in disguise) .. thanks for leaving me a note, I hope you stop by again soon. Take care.
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Muffin - 2005-05-30 10:29:48
Friday afternoon, 3:00 pm, before the holiday and I was still at work. A defense attorney passed me in the hall, looking all confused, and asks "was there a fire drill? Did they vacate the building? Where is everyone?" Yeah, you are looking at "everyone" "how can I help you"?
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A Little Short of Sainthood

QUESTION: Can you bring me up a glass of water?

WHAT I LEARNED: I'll never be a saint.

The other night, my son, my daughter, and I were all sitting in the living room watching TV. My son got pressed into making a snack for all of us because he made the mistake of foraging for food in the kitchen. He agreed to prepare everyone snacks and began working industriously in the kitchen. Finally he stepped out into the living room and said – I don’t think I’d like being a mom. You do this all the time and I don’t even feel like doing it even once.

Brilliantly put. We all laughed. I was relieved. He got how I feel sometimes. His saying that instantly made me a bit more chilled out about the cook/handmaiden/chauffer/laundress/delivery person tasks that fall into my list of other maternal duties as assigned. That’s where they always get you in a job – those other duties as assigned. I am beginning to think that indentured servants of old got more time off that the average 21st century mother.

For instance, kids who are going to bed want things done for them because it really does seem nicer if mom does them for you – please mom. It’s hard to say no because I innately know the value of a mother’s touch in life and it’s hard to say yes because I’m tired and overworked and ready to stop all motherly assistance for the day. Mainly the requests fall into these categories:

• snacks
• signature on forgotten documents or forms to fill out
• emergency schoolwork/project
• major state test preparation
• important registration deadline
• major impending decision to discuss at length
• money
• need for some must-wear tomorrow item in laundry
• lost cell phones, paperwork, assignments, money, CD players, iPods, CDs, DVDs, hats, sunglasses, purses, wallets, shoes, articles of clothing, etc.
• a glass of ice water

These request can be concurrent or sequential. Either way they suck up what’s left of mommy’s “quiet time”.

Maybe they think mom needs more exercise. Maybe they think mom knows everything. Maybe they just need a helping hand as they try like everyone else to get it all done in the course of each day.

I don’t know.

I want to model myself after Mother Theresa in these moments but it doesn’t always work. I want to say – sure dear, I’ll fix you a snack and carry it upstairs to you on a tray or let me run that nice glass of iced water up to you while you get snuggled in under the covers. Instead I find myself saying - Mommy is not a short-order cook/delivery person/maid.

I want to say - it’s okay that you forgot about the major state test preparation and left your study guide in your locker/didn’t remember about the major paper due worth half your grade for the quarter and I can set aside all my stuff so we can deal with this totally understandable academic emergency. Instead I hear myself saying - I can't believe you forgot this test/project/homework until now. INSERT LITANY OF OTHER THINGS DONE HERE BY KID THAT DAY INSTEAD and this will yield greater dramatic effect. Personally, I find going over all the other stuff my kid did instead of the forgotten work - from going down the street to a friend’s house, to watching TV - really adds to the drama of the situation and catapults me into my best I-feel-sorry-for-myself-because-now-I-have-even-more-to-do mode.

I want to say – it’s no problem to run down to the laundry room and toss that item into the wash. Instead I often find myself saying – mom can’t do the laundry this late. Why didn’t you think about this earlier? And then I probably will say - bring it down here right now. I really don’t have time to do this. (a great all-purpose line – especially when accented with a heavy sigh.). Inevitably I do wash the item as long as I get to stand in the laundry room while loading it in the washer muttering - mommy is not a servant.

I want to say - don’t worry, dear. I’ll help you find the CD player/DVD/slip of paper/shirt you have to wear tomorrow. Instead I hear myself saying - this is ridiculous. We can’t look for this now. And then I’ll get up and help them look for it while complaining about the waste of time and energy searching for lost items causes in my life. They are so glad when we find the item.

Sometimes I even complain about the glass of water because my teenagers never go to bed early enough and they want iced water at midnight. I guess I am going to have to give up my bid for sainthood or get the iced water.

I figure I better get the iced water.

I’ve got to work on this want to say/actually said thing. I'm a hopeless optimist.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

radiogurl - 2005-05-25 12:37:36
In reality, it's okay to tell your children no, and that you're not a servant. A mother's touch is a wonderful gift, but by the time your kids are old enough to have a cell phone, they should be learning responsibility in all areas - laundry, papers, the works. Part of being a good mom is teaching them independence, too. I know you already know that, but it's a good way to assuage your guilt while muttering that if they do this to you just one more time, you're gonna kill them, lol.
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Yvonne - 2005-05-25 12:42:21
Sometimes a mother's touch should be a flick behind the ear (just to make sure they're tuned in) and a well spoken, "While you are getting that iced water, grab one for me too. That's my best kid." At least, that works with the pliable older one...sometimes. P.S. I was joking about the ear flick, it's too hard to climb on a chair to reach their ears!
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Summer Gale - 2005-05-25 12:46:48
Are you in Berkley? Some one came from your site to mine about the same time you posted on banw45.ASD.Berkeley.EDU. If it's you do tell wazzup. BTW riotous laughter at every request and rolling your eyes works well :)
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golfwidow - 2005-05-25 15:03:13
Mother Theresa said, "God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." So you're not alone in saying crabby things whilst still getting the job done.
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chocolate chaos - 2005-05-25 15:50:05
you mean moms DONT know everything??!!?!?!?!?!
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l-empress - 2005-05-25 18:55:27
I'm not superwoman. I tried to make that clear from the beginning. As in, I can't do that all the time; let me show you how to do it. The only one who still thinks I'm a servant is Husband, nad he still tries to help. (Oy vey!) Y'know what? The kids love me anyhow.
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purple chai - 2005-05-25 19:44:52
Oh, been there, still looking for the exit. Although it's better now that they're older. (Oh wait, was that me before that one kid asked for $10 so I gave them each a $20?)
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boxx - 2005-05-25 20:34:37
What I do for my kids I GLADLY do without resentment or want of return. What I don't want to do I tell them. Saves so much time and energy. Been there, done that. My kids are 21 and 22 and that makes a big difference.
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katie - 2005-05-26 04:15:44
dude. my mom said no ALL the time. you already are a saint.
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art - 2005-05-27 00:33:45
ok time for you to put down guidelines/hours of service. if they are old enuff to have a cell fone, they are old enuff to get that tasty glass of iced water. and you need time for YOU!!!!! say for instance, mom's time off duty begins at 8 pm. after 8 pm you kids are on ya own! and you need to stick to that!!! and not feel bad about it either! just a bit of advice from me! ty for the comment back after i fixed my page as you requested! it took a while, but i got it where it dont look jumbled!!! cya!!
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Meatballs and Home Furnishings

QUESTIONS: Meatballs?

WHAT I LEARNED: Shopping can be a quality experience.

The next morning many of us struck out for home. The picture I wished I had taken was of Summer-Gale with one big more-empty-than-full bottle of rum flung over her shoulder packing up for home. There was breakfast to be had at the hotel first though. I personally was mesmerized by the do-it-yourself waffle makers the hotel provided at its breakfast bar and some of us indulged in freshly made waffles.

While many of the group had scattered towards their respective homes, there were a few diehard souls left who were still game for one more fieldtrip. Summer-Gale (who had developed an IKEA addiction), Spritopias (who was not wearing argyle), his sister (chaosbean), and I, all headed over to IKEA so we could wander around the display rooms taking pictures of ourselves lounging about as if we had nothing better to do, sitting around in the rooms like we lived there, shopping in earnest (summer-gale), and basically enjoying this last event of our diarist get-together.

The best thing about IKEA was the cafeteria. It was crisp white with a bright orange flower at each table. The tables looked across to a space age shaped building. We ordered meatballs and slabs of fabulous apple cake. Who would have thought it – meatballs at IKEA. I told me daughter about it – she said she had heard all about the IKEA meatballs. Live and learn.

And then it was all over and done. I was sitting in the airport thinking about work again and basking in the delightful memories of diarist friends. It had been a terrific weekend.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher - 2005-05-21 14:29:09
Me, lounging around, who knew?
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Kathy - 2005-05-21 17:21:30
That would be your Swedish Meatballs at the Swedish IKEA store. Silly Swedes!
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Mary J - 2005-05-21 19:23:27
If I would have known it was going to take me half the time to get home that it took me to get there, I would have stayed for the meatballs! I missed out!
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radiogurl - 2005-05-22 01:40:10
I've only been to IKEA once. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to shop there, lol. Definitely not my style, even though I saw a few (very few) things I liked all right. But if I'd known that they served food...!
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michelle - 2005-05-22 01:46:18
very happy that you had a great weekend with all of your diarist buddies. I wish I could meet my diary friends, it would be so neat to do. How did you get your pictures to come out very cartoonish? That effect looks really cool.
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Laura - 2005-05-23 08:28:22
I have never met anyone yet that I am blogging with...there has been talk but it hasnt happened yet. I think it would be a lot of fun! I think If I ate a meatball from Ikea my poor grandmother would turn over in her grave! They were THAT good?????? Thanks for stopping by my site...hope to see you again!
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tali - 2005-05-23 18:39:00
I've been to Ikea once...we had a cinnamon bun and I had this funky drink whose name I forget..but it was yummy. It's not far from where I live..about 20 min, but I'm afraid I'll spend money if I go again. :) How were the meatballs?
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Jim - 2005-05-24 08:12:12
Yeah, tell us how you manipulated those photos. Very interesting effects. Photoshop?
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Summer Gale - 2005-05-24 15:45:10
It was fun, wasn't it? We have to do it again soon. BTW I loved the cartoon photos too.
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Diarists Descend Upon New Haven - Part II

QUESTION: How much do you want that coffee?

WHAT I LEARNED: Education does not equal consideration.

Saturday was our lunch at the Royal Palace. I was excited to find myself sitting down with so many excellent diarists and getting to eat a delicious lunch at same time. We all brought swag and my swag was a bunch of wooden sandpipers with greetings from Suburban Island written on the base. The sandpipers had very pointy wooden beaks. Cosmic make many jokes about their beaks – and they were very funny jokes too - except she didn’t call them beaks. I took away from this that my swag was attractive and amusing. Who could ask for more?

I was wondering why the check was taking so long to come. I was considering the potential for someone to ask the waiter to chop it up into separate checks thus providing additional entertainment value for all when it was announced that the royal l-empress picked up the check for everyone. What a grand and gracious thing to do! Thanks, l-empress!

After lunch, our picture taking got out of hand as can be seen with this great shot of Summer-Gale striking a pose against a handy chain link storefront…

Spritopias, Jyram, and I had to stop at the Yale bookstore so we could buy overpriced shirts that said Yale on them. Also, we got coffee at the coffee bar at the bookstore after only 15 minutes of standing in front of a guy who was counting out money (I guess they were changing shifts) without receiving any response that we were at the counter. We thought maybe we were invisible or perhaps obviously out of our element and therefore totally unacceptable. He never looked up, he never said a word. We wanted our coffee so we just kept standing there. After about 10 minutes I asked if they were open. He did not look up. He just said "yes" in a way that seemed to say a) you are annoying and b) can't you see I'm very busy. Education obviously doesn’t mean that one is naturally imbued with good manners at the same time. This, my dear readers, would never have happened at the S-bucks place. Finally, his replacement came and she was great. We got our coffee and headed back to the hotel. Just for the record it wasn't as good as the the S-bucks coffee either. The halls of learning could learn a thing or two about good coffee and good manners - or so it seems.Purple-chai left just a few minutes before we got seated. At first we felt bad for her but the food was so ordinary that we started to think she had been smart to take off for greener pastures. The drinks were great though – especially the Irish Coffees.

Back at the hotel, we pulled tables together in the dining room/lobby and spent the afternoon in a lively discussion – sharing pictures, comparing notes on all things relating to being an online diarist, and generally just having a great time. Everyone was very much like I thought they would be. Their personalities really do shine through their diaries. I also was glad to meet Bardsbitch who I had not discovered when she was on Diaryland as the Tattooed Nanny. Eventually the afternoon had to end as all afternoons do. Everyone hugged and went off in different directions. Summer-Gale, Spritopias, Jyram, Purple-chai and I waited for over an hour to eat in one of the most mediocre Italian restaurants on the planet.

Before going back to the hotel after dinner, we had to do some soda shopping at the gas station near the hotel. I believe somebody bought lottery tickets. We then headed up to Cosmic’s room which had become THE meeting place and spent a few more spirited hours making so much noise that some little kids knocked on the door and then ran away again as fast as they could. You could hear their little feet pounding down the hall like the devil was after them. Eventually, everyone headed to bed. It is worth noting that we were all ready to do so a bit earlier than the night before.

I'm not done with this story yet. Stay tuned...

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher - 2005-05-20 14:53:42
Worst. Italian Food. Ever.
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chocolate chaos - 2005-05-20 15:08:22
irish coffee in an italian restaurant?
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purple chai - 2005-05-20 16:40:36
Love what you did with that picture.
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cosmic - 2005-05-20 21:40:55
First of all, I must pose a question. What does a bird do with it's beak? It pecks. Ergo, pecker. Nothing politically incorrect about that. (I love it, by the way. Thank you again.)Next, the pic of Diane is absolutely perfect! I love it. And last, I wish I could bring you all back to my room here! You are an amazing lady.
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l-empress - 2005-05-20 21:50:25
Wouldn't you think the grand city of New Haven -- with plenty of excellent Italian restaurants -- would think to place one where the tourists go. I should have brought you back to West Haven with me.
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Mary J - 2005-05-21 00:48:52
I still can't get over the "worker" at the coffee shop. How rude!!
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radiogurl - 2005-05-21 01:27:38
Thanks to you and ALL the folks who posted about this trip. It sounds like it was fun for all concerned! I obviously couldn't get there so I had to live it vicariously through all of the folks who wrote about it. :D
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Face Facts With Dignity

QUESTION: Chocolates, for me?

WHAT I LEARNED: Argyle is distinctive.

Golfwidow decreed that my fortune cookie fortune must be the title of my entry and so I have happily complied. Face facts with dignity – was the fortune. What happened to the good fortunes? I think the other people at the table at the Royal Palace Restaurant in New Haven got them: the argyle-wearing spritopias, the beautiful jyram, the bubbly summer-gale, the knows-exactly-who-she-is cosmicrayola, the librarian par excellance purple-chai, the regal l-empress, the saucy Bard’s Bitch (was tattooed nanny on Diaryland), the exceptionally clever Golf Widow, and that man of hers (Gold Widow’s man that is) who got drafted into being picture-taker for all during the grand lunch event.

Yes, I got to take a trip to Connecticut and meet up with some great Diaryland diarists this past weekend. I especially thank Spritopias who made sure that I stopped whining about how busy I was at work and instead got me focused on finding a flight into Hartford late enough on Friday night and out of Hartford early enough on Sunday afternoon so that I would not feel guilty for taking some time for myself in the midst of overwhelming stress at work. I was so glad that Jyram and Spritopias were able to meet me at the airport on Friday night – I recognized them immediately by the argyle vest that Spritopias was wearing. Also, they had signage just in case there was too big a crowd at 10:45 PM at the Hartford airport.

 

And they brought chocolate. Godiva chocolate. That’s what I got handed by the great and wonderful Spritopias and his driving accomplice Jyram. We also had to stop for food at Friendly’s before heading to the hotel because the chocolate seemed to make us feel like a late-night snack. Friendly’s wasn’t really that friendly because when they saw us walk through the door the first thing they said was – “the grill is closed”. Like that mattered when they still had ice-cream creations available. We lost no time in ordering one small Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Friendz – kind of like a Blizzard at Dairy Queen, one malted vanilla milkshake, and a 3-scoop Reeses Pieces Sundae. Can you guess who ordered what? I see no reason to tell. Let us just say that we were all happy with our respective ice-cream choices.

Armed with ice cream and burdened down with luggage (too much of it mine) we arrived at the hotel. I knew we had picked an interesting place to stay when I spied the bikers standing at the front desk. While they were checking in (a process that seemed to require a small eternity to accomplish), a group of slightly bedraggled air flight attendants side-stepped the line and signed a book that triggered the desk clerk to slip them some keys. They grabbed them and dragging their impossibly tiny luggage on wheels towards the elevator and a few hours on the ground in New Haven while we still stood in the same place hoping not to draw any undue attention to ourselves from the biker people and thanking God in heaven for our ice-cream concoctions.

We all got our non-smoking rooms - eventually. I was assigned the one last used by a person with a malfunctioning nicotine patch. The room reeked of smoke. They had to move me. Then we went upstairs to meet with Cosmic, Purple Chai, and Summer-Gale. Summer-Gale answered the door – she’s like a blast of sunshine. I had met her and Cosmic at JournalCon last year and so it felt like seeing old friends. I hadn’t met Purple Chai before but she was exactly how I imagined her to be - just a kind and thoughtful person. Cosmic was the ultimate hostess. While we chatted, the rum and coke was liberally poured out into little styrofoam cups that were probably supposed to hold cups of morning coffee. Life was good and vaguely reminiscent of college days. We probably could have talked all night, but showing better sense then in younger days, we all headed off to rest up for a fun-filled Saturday instead.

I'm not done with this story yet. Stay tuned...

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

purple chai - 2005-05-19 18:45:20
Each time I read another account of the weekend, I just smile and smile.
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Sally - 2005-05-19 18:50:25
Friendly's wasn't very friendly here, either, and they shut down after just a couple of years. Maple ice cream with hot fudge, oh how I miss thee...
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-05-19 21:37:00
I agree with Chai.
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Mary J - 2005-05-19 21:44:55
Make that unanimous. I would love to go back to New Haven for another enjoyable weekend! I can't wait for the rest of the story! (Not that I don't know what happened...)
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july28 - 2005-05-20 05:08:33
I saw pix from the weekend over at Summer-Gales...you all look so gorgeous and happy! Like many other diarylanders I am SO jealous of your weekend together and wish I had been there. Can't wait for the next part! xxxxx
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golfwidow - 2005-05-20 13:25:23
How odd, that I didn't find New Haven nearly as quool living here as I did after you guys all came to visit us here.
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A Job Well Done

Whew – finally – I can breathe again. Sometimes I have to speak to groups as part of my job and even though it always goes well in the end, I really stress about it beforehand. Last week was a tidal wave of regular work tasks and a boatload of preparation for a big event that I was coordinating. Part of my responsibility was to be a presenter during the program – that’s the speaking part. It is great when the whole thing is done and I can see that the event went off as planned – including the part where I open my mouth in front of a big crowd of people and lucid thoughts come out. In the end it is such a high note to see that everyone enjoyed themselves and got something out of it. However, before that happens, the whole things whirls around in my head until I find myself dizzy with thinking about every aspect of the whole thing day and night and even dreaming about it in my sleep. Every night I sleep a little less. Every day I work extra hard and extra long. Even though I do all of that, I still harbor fears that something will go wrong. It is such a relief when the whole thing goes off without a hitch.

So last week was a week that was so full of stress and work and more work. I hate those kinds of weeks. The only thing that brings me through them is knowing that something really worthwhile is going to come out of it in the end. This week the cloud has lifted because this morning was the big event and it was a deemed a great success by all. Finally - the sun is shining again and a great weigh has been removed from my shoulders. I was able to have the afternoon off and I was so tired that I just came home, changed into my jammies, and jumped into bed for a long well-earned nap. You know you are tired when you pull into your driveway and just keep sitting in your car because you don't have the energy to get out and go into the house. Let me tell you, that nap hit the spot. Afterwards, my daughter and I went out and had dinner together as a treat. I went to pick my son up from his first job and it was relaxing to just drive down the street with no worries for the moment. I am currently camped on the sofa watching TV and updating my diary. Life is good.

 

However, I must note for the record that I am still utterly exhausted.

I did give myself a little break from work this past weekend. Taking a quick trip up to Connecticut to meet up with some of my favorite reads on Diaryland in person. I will just tell you that there was argyle, rum and coke, meatballs at IKEA, fortune cookies, infectious laughter, coffee at Yale, and much more. It’s true when they say life is an adventure.

I’ll be sharing all the fascinating details with you in my next entry.

On another note, please stop by and leave a note of commiseration for forty-plus on the loss of her dog, Jax. Pets are sometimes the best people we know.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

diane - 2005-05-16 23:24:43
Wow, I wish my naps left me looking as glamorous as that. I love those long black evening gloves.
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Mary J - 2005-05-17 17:40:39
I'm really happy that things went well for you at work!! Hopefully things will be a little more relaxed for you for a while, now.
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Wyndspirit - 2005-05-17 22:54:50
Thanks for the encouragement!
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mz. em - 2005-05-19 13:07:30
You defeinitely relax in a manner I like
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Jim - 2005-05-19 15:41:19
Cosmicraola had told me about the New Haven gathering but I just couldn't work it into my schedule (the weekend being bracketed by my daughter's birthday and my younger son's birthday, etc.) although I did wave in the general direction of downtown New Haven as we zipped past on I-95 on our way to the Milford CT MetroNorth station. I probably would have been the token male at the event (although I gather there was a husband there for part of Saturday?)
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Mother's Day 2005 It's Mother's Day!

It's Mother's Day!

All year long mothers are doing wonderful things and they are doing them without fanfare or daily applause from their families. Mothers make amazing use of time and energy and creativity. Mothers give. They can't help it. They give of themselves in a thousand different ways. They give a much needed hug. They speak those words of encouragement. They read that story, play that game, watch that show, for the millionth time because you want to read it, play it, watch it. Mothers take you to buy the supplies for the report you forgot about until Sunday night, buy you the outfit you just have to have that means she won't get something she'd like for herself, prepare the sandwich you could make yourself but you say taste better when she makes it. Mothers listen to your stories instead of making you listen to theirs. Mothers cut you a break when dads don't. Moms pick you up from the movies when they really are too tired to do it. They make holidays festive and remember birthdays. They think about you everyday. They don't always get it right all the time. Who does? They great thing about mothers is that they'd like to get it right all the time.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I hope you have a day of leisure and a little of other people's time, energy, and creativity on this special Sunday.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher - 2005-05-08 13:02:26
Happy Mother's Day! And, for the record MY mother has never cut me a break, it's always Dad.
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Yvonne - 2005-05-08 13:42:34
I'm copying this and putting it on the fridge for when certain *somebodies* need to be reminded how absolutely wonderful I am!
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Mary - 2005-05-08 14:49:46
Happy Mother's Day!!! I hope your family is doing something special for you today!
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Liz - 2005-05-08 16:00:28
Happy Mothers' Day to you, and thanks for the morale boost. With love.
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Cosmic - 2005-05-08 16:49:00
Happy Mother's Day!!!
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art - 2005-05-08 16:53:00
happy moms day!! is that you in the pic??
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katie d - 2005-05-10 06:09:06
happy (late) mother's day. you deserve it. :) (and you sound like a GREAT mom!) kd
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katie d - 2005-05-10 06:09:39
happy (late) mother's day. you deserve it. :) (and you sound like a GREAT mom!) kd
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bettyalready - 2005-05-12 14:12:54
What Yvonne said.
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The Big American Sandwich

QUESTION: Where's the Declaration of Independence when you need it?

What I Learned: Sometimes it's best to just shut up.

The other day I was standing in line at the sandwich shop around the corner from my office waiting for my lunchtime fare. I would have to eat this feast at my computer but the walk around the corner and back would allow me to pretend that I had gotten a real lunch break. While standing there – a tired, hungry, overworked woman among a sea of other tired, hungry, overworked people of all ages and ranks in life I heard a woman complaining about the size of the sandwiches. She was a mother with a kid in a baby stroller and she was complaining that the sandwiches were much too big. She didn’t want a big sandwich. She couldn’t eat a big sandwich. She didn’t need a big sandwich. Why couldn't she have a small sandwich? Where were the small sandwiches? Why did they have so little consideration for the needs of small sandwich consumers?

She had a British accent. As we all know, Americans are drawn to an English accent like moth’s are drawn to a flame. So to wile away the time I opened my Chatty Cathy mouth and began what I thought was a casual and friendly interaction with the lady. I said – one good thing about the sandwiches is that you can always bring half home and have it later on today or for lunch tomorrow. You would have thought I had slapped her silly with a canned ham. She straightened up and in her most affected tones stated – That’s so American. Getting something today that you are going to eat tomorrow.

Oh, Lord in heaven. That was a double dose of condescension from little miss perfect life with an accent. There I was, a simple worker bee, wife, and mother making some casual chit chat with some very ordinary woman in a carry-out shop and suddenly I find myself unwittingly standing next to the Queen of England and the heir to the throne.

I have a son and husband to prepare dinner for every night – she continues on regally.

Well, I continued because I just don’t when to give up - With a little kid to care for I am sure you are very busy. You could have a nice lunch tomorrow and relax instead of cooking for yourself.

She nixed that too. She could never. Really. She has her royal duty and all to house and home and family. She’s got people to cook for – didn’t I get it?

Honey, I have a son, a daughter, and a husband to cook for and you don’t hear me complaining about the damn sandwiches, do you? Well, I wish I had said that but I didn’t.

I just stood there while these and many other hasty words ricocheted around in my head, banging painfully at the borders of the spoken word but remained locked within. Alas, I discovered that I am too polite to get into it any further with Mrs. High and Mighty who cooks up a storm of proper eats day and night for her husband and son, lost as they are in this culinary wilderness we called the U.S.A.

Thank God, I am a Christian woman or I know I would have knocked her down and started rolling around on the floor with her while he little son looked on gleefully from his stroller. I eat my sandwiches so I am sure I had some weight on her.

I found more things I wanted to say but just could not loitering at the tip of my tongue. I wanted to say – You’re the reason we had that little revolution, your highness. But I didn't. I wanted to say (no offense to my dear British readers) – When did the English obtain a reputation for exotic must-have-more cuisine? But I could not bring myself to say that stuff either.

How unfortunate.

Instead, I took my sandwich – my big beautiful American sandwich – which had just been set up on the countertop with my name on it, and my cup of iced tea – my big beautiful super-duper sized iced tea with lots of ice because that’s how we Americans like it, and headed for the cashier.

To make matters worse I was going to eat the whole sandwich when I got back to my desk. That’s because I like the big American sandwich from the restaurant with the very French name.

As I left the woman with a son and husband to cook for and the imaginary tiara sitting slightly askew on her head could be heard talking a bit too loudly to the manager about the sad state of sandwiches in America.

Excuse me. Can I have chips with that?

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

chocolate chaos - 2005-05-01 19:56:57
gee im surprised she would buy a sandwich at all!
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Jamie - 2005-05-01 20:03:01
Well gee, if she were so proper, why wasnt she home COOKING her lunch. It would be one thing is she were suggesting they market a smaller sandwhich..but to complain, and so loudly. Get a grip lady! Sometimes you just cant please people.
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Leslie - 2005-05-01 20:07:50
OMG! Why was miss priss even buying a freaking sandwich? LOL Like Jamie said why didnt she just go home and COOK!
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Jenn - 2005-05-01 20:25:27
I don't understand what she was doing in there anyway! If you don't want the sandwich, don't buy it for crying out loud. Go back from whence you came and make your own sandwich.
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-05-01 21:44:24
I hope those carbs stick to her like white on Michael.
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Poolagirl - 2005-05-01 23:50:03
*snort* *howl* *pee my pants* I have never heard people complain about a sandwich being too big! Then don't eat the whole damn thing! Feed the birds! Do.....whatever! "I got yer sandwich, lady! Right here!" *snort* *howl* *pee my pants*
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breathtaken1 - 2005-05-02 01:08:31
Eating well is the best revenge. I hope you enjoyed it!
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Reyne - 2005-05-02 02:07:09
I am sorry to have to generalise - yes, there are exceptions to every rule, but the British have well and truly earned their reputation as "whinging poms". I don't even know if they get called that in the States, but they sure do here! Many times I have bitten my tongue when I wanted to say "Go back home where everything is perfect, then!" *waits for a backlash* donthatememybestfriendisenglish!
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-05-02 06:38:24
I always tell people, "If you are going to spend your life walking around with your nose in the air, make sure it is clean as a courtesy to the next guy."
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Carolyn - 2005-05-02 07:58:13
Your entry really hit home with me. Sometimes I get so TIRED of being well mannered. Sometimes I just want to say what I'm thinking. But I don't. I was once told that bitter words breed bitter words. So I try to be the "bitter word" birth control. Good for you for not letting her get you into a battle.
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Paula - 2005-05-02 08:17:53
Thank you for your nice note. I think what you experienced in the sandwich shop was some America bashing disguised as a complaint about sandwiches. It was little miss preem and propa's way of telling all the Americans in the shop that they were too fat and greedy. I enjoy your diary too.
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Yvonne - 2005-05-02 08:18:53
Nice self control! Where's Christopias when we need him?!
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Sally - 2005-05-02 08:50:28
Oh you are SO polite! Hey, Martyred Mary Poppins, we Americans have this nifty thing called a loaf of bread and a package of lunch meat...give it a shot.
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muffin - 2005-05-02 21:28:09
Tough talk from a woman that hails from a country known for boiled potatoes. I would have gone so Dutch on her and asked what she thought Camilia would say? Because that British Royal family is certainly class with a capital K.
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Karen - 2005-05-02 23:49:24
I like American sandwiches as well. =)
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BlueMeany - 2005-05-03 03:11:14
Isn't it great how some people can find a way to be condescending about ANYthing? You are a very strong woman for not having stomped her in the face.
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Ms. Brazil - 2005-05-04 00:11:08
Oh yes of course! Only Americans eat leftovers! (*eyeroll*) Well, from what I hear, the food in England is so bad that no one would even want to eat it the *first* day, not to mention the *second* day!
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molzo - 2005-05-04 11:30:08
See, I would definitely NOT have held my tongue. I'm the kind of girl who says exactly what I'm thinking when I'm thinking it. If I had a little of your self-control, I probably would have half my troubles, but then...I do enjoy stirring things up a bit. Still, I admire your self-control.
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MS76 - 2005-05-04 23:11:05
You are fabulous.
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Princess - 2005-05-05 13:25:35
I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut, I would have thought and said nasty things. After asking the man to make my sandwich extra large.
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Tara - 2005-05-05 13:50:46
I probably would have done the same thing as you,, I tend to think of the witty replys after the person walks away. Love the story,, found your blog, surfing through about a dozen others.
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Mary - 2005-05-05 20:26:47
At about every faculty meeting we ever have I want to talk and say things that will get me fired. But, I bite my tongue. Literally, sometimes.
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Jim - 2005-05-07 16:46:35
Ah, but have you ever seen the sorry excuses for sandwiches that they eat in England? Two slices of bread (or a miniature sub type roll) with one thin slice of lunch meat, one thin slice of cheese, and one wilted piece of lettuce. Most Brits' jaws drop the first time they walk into a sandwich shop in the U.S. and see an American-style sub or a big thick deli sandwich. I do enjoy eating in England, but other than fish & chips in a London pub I mostly eat in Chinese and Indian restaurants when I'm there (or Balti restaurants -- sort of Pakistani food cooked in a balti, a pot something like a wok).
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katie d - 2005-05-08 03:14:16
Man, I have NEVER gotten why in HELL people complain about getting more food for their dollar. I used to work in a restaurant whose whole deal was that they offer larger than normal portions - more meal for your money. And women would constantly bitch (women, never men) that there was too much food. For the love of all that is holy, is there a terrorist holding a gun to your head, forcing you to clean your plate? No? Then shut the ever-lovin' heck up. Just don't eat it. Me, I like being full. I do not like paying out my hard-earned money for a meal which does *not* fill me up. Jeez. ANd on a side note, DO NOT READ MY LATEST ENTRY. Really. It's for your own good. kd
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Alex Vance - 2005-05-08 03:31:17
I wish you a Happy Mothers' Day, and hope you celebrate it with your favorite typically American-sized sandwich!
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