Suburban Island

Wedding Bell Blues

QUESTION: Dreams for sale?

WHAT I LEARNED: Advertising is a tricky business

A friend was surprised to discover a few of his wedding pictures – slightly edited for effect – on a local online classified ad service. It seems his estranged spouse – the one who has arranged for him to spend a few unexpected days in the local adult detention center recently – was selling her wedding gown. Is the thrill gone or is there such a profit to be made in the used wedding gown market that selling the dress just couldn’t be resisted? I don’t know. I enjoyed the ad though.

She does seem to be having some trouble selling it. Maybe she’s asking too much for the gown. Or maybe she just needs to change her advertising approach. I especially wonder about the photos she has chosen to illustrate the glory of this wedding finery.

Frankly, I would be worried about buying the dress she’s advertising for a couple simple reasons. First, it seems like you might risk losing your head when you put on the dress. Witness this shot with bridal bouquet:

Such pretty flowers too.

This second shot drives home the headless issue:

It’s good to have a mile long train but it’s better to have a good head on your shoulders.

Alas, if you are fortunate enough to keep your head, you might lose your face instead. Witness what happens when the happy couple stops for a posed wedding shot in the church. Their faces become featureless creamy blobs.

I think it’s scary. But I don’t need a wedding dress. If I needed one real bad, I might be willing to consider the headless/faceless problem as just a slight impediment in the wedding day adventure. It would be something to tell the grandkids, after all. It might yield some interesting wedding photographs too – photos usually a trifle too dull for any but the wedding party to truly enjoy viewing.

My friend thinks his estranged wife should hold onto the dress so that if/when they get back together again they can reaffirm their vows at some point and she can wear it – cathedral train and all. I’m dubious – about the yards of train on a thrice married woman renewing her vows and a few other things related to this blissful wish for romance renewed - but I do like a man with a positive outlook.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

art - 2005-04-27 21:34:12
well maybe she cant sell it cause maybe its too late? all the brides already got their dresses for the upcoming wedding season?! she should try ebay!!! you can sell anything on ebay!!
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-27 22:07:47
There are so many things I could say, and won't. However, the headless issue isn't as bad as the outmodedness of it. Princess Diana, your dress is not wanted! It's Jinxed!
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cosmic - 2005-04-28 07:28:18
I agree with Chris. Really, if the dress didn't bring luck to the first wedding, why would you want to put yours at risk by wearing it. (Ok, I am way too supersticious) It's like buying a chainsaw someone used to hack up their mother-in-law. Not good vibes. Not good at all.
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Yvonne - 2005-04-28 08:07:20
The dress itself is very pretty. However, the feeling of those badly cropped photos made me think a costume shop/drama department would be potential purchasers. Forget it if she is charging more than $50.00 for it!
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Mary - 2005-04-28 17:20:30
Yikes! Speaking as someone currently shopping for a wedding gown, I would a) not buy a used wedding dress, b) not buy THAT dress, its definitely not my style, and c)Be too worried about my face not turning out in my pictures! ;-)
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Jim - 2005-04-29 09:51:55
"My friend thinks his estranged wife should hold onto the dress so that if/when they get back together again they can reaffirm their vows at some point and she can wear it – cathedral train and all." Uh, please tell me that he meant that as a sardonic comment, a bit of dark and bitter humor, and not as his true wish.
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elgan - 2005-04-30 09:50:11
I fear your friend, in the vain hope that his estranged wife will resume her role as companion and helpmeet, is in deep denial.
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Suburban Island at South Park

QUESTION: Who is that girl?

WHAT I LEARNED: Cartoons can reflect the individual.

Look what Spritopias made for me:

Now I have my very own South Park doppleganger. She's busy, but relaxed, and always with a book at hand.

Thanks to Spritopias for this creative and very insightful interpretation of this Suburban Island woman. Visit Planearium to get one of your own.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

cosmic - 2005-04-23 16:00:04
I made one!! I made one!! I will post it later tonight. Thanks!
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Kellbelle - 2005-04-23 22:27:28
hehe Thanks for signing the guest book. Spritopias actually designed my banners. It looks like he's been a busy designing boy! :)
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Jenna - 2005-04-24 11:43:42
Hehe that's cute. I like your diary! That I dream of Jeanie banner attracted me to it lol.
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-24 14:10:38
I saw your banner, Suburban Island IS hot.
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-24 14:10:51
I saw your banner, Suburban Island IS hot.
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Jenna again! - 2005-04-24 17:44:08
Hey! Thanks for commenting on my site, I'm glad you like it. Also, thanks for the link I'll link you ASAP. ;)
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hissandtell - 2005-04-24 22:22:30
Aren't the caricatures cute? im2evil4u made a heap of them for her readers yesterday, and I adored the one that was me - gracious, the similarity was nothing short of remarkable! Thanks so much for the note, darling; I appreciate your kind comments and hearing from the fellow magpies out there. Love, R xxx
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The Eloquence of Compassion

QUESTION: What is she thinking?

WHAT I LEARNED: Everyday bravery abounds.

Last night, my husband and I had just settled down in the living room to watch one of my new favorite shows – Nanny 911 - when our evening took a surprising turn. We had barely had a chance to thank our lucky stars our kids didn’t use profanity as toddlers when our TV show 911 was interrupted by a real life emergency situation knocking at our door. I never thought we could top the turmoil of a good nanny story. I was wrong.

One of our young neighbors was standing there talking on a cell phone and he was looking for my husband. He was on the phone with a young man who was threatening him because our neighbor was friends with this guy’s girlfriend. I guess he wanted an adult witness to the conversation.

Evidently, this kid was concerned about his friend, who was in an abusive relationship. Not surprisingly, this girl was over at the abusive guy’s place while he was on the phone heaping abuse on her good friend because this person was concerned about her welfare (and consequently interfering with the abusive boyfriend’s control of this girl). This hostile guy is making all these threats against everyone and she is making excuses for her out-of-control boyfriend – he doesn’t mean it, he’s not serious. You know the drill. It’s the typical abusive relationship. It’s tragic. And so common.

We want to believe someone we love is worth loving, and if they are treating us badly we want to believe that they will change or it is just a momentary deviation. Believing lies is easy when you want to believe the person who is telling them to you. This woman will endanger herself as well as others around her to remain with a man who abuses her and she will explain it away because he calls her baby and says I’m sorry or I didn't mean it or you know I love you when the assault – verbal, or emotional, or physical – is over for the moment.

I admire our young neighbor who was brave enough to step up to the plate and say flat out – hitting a woman is wrong, trying to control who she sees and where so goes and what she does is wrong unless she is doing something illegal. He said – Why would you hurt someone you say you love? Be a man. That is not what a man does. A man doesn’t hit a woman. Parents – you can impact your sons and daughters. This young man had parents who gave their son a moral compass and the confidence in his values to stand up for his beliefs in a compassionate way. In the face of threats he tried to help both his friend and his enemy. Impressive.

He is right too. Being a man does not mean hurting other people. That is the antithesis of being a man. It takes a real man to understand that power is not in hitting but in lifting up. I hope somehow that guy gets the message before he hurts someone else and in so doing destroys himself. Why do I doubt it?

I have a wish for this young woman. A wish that she will recognize that a relationship based on violence is no relationship at all. And that there are better things waiting for her if she will walk away from what is of no value to her anyway.

And to my young neighbor I say – thank you for allowing me to see a glimpse of heroism in everyday life. It’s hard to stand up to a bully - especially in this day and age. If your friend were wise she would appreciate it. She doesn’t sound very wise right now but perhaps she will become so. She is lucky to have a friend like you.

This is why the wise counsel of friends and family can be so important. Sometimes we can’t see as clearly as we would like to think we are seeing. We need to hear from others who care about us and at least take their insights into consideration if we normally have respect and confidence in them.

So, last night I missed Nanny 911 but gained something better – an added sense of hope in the world thanks to the kid across the street.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Jim - 2005-04-19 13:58:28
That is a brave young man, given how many of these abusive jerks turn out to be really dangerous. I hope he is smart enough to report any threats to the police.
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Sally - 2005-04-19 16:03:55
A true good guy...hope he doesn't get his white horse shot out from under him. People like the jerk are dangerous, lash out with nary a thought of repercussions. Write down everything you heard, date and time, everything, to back up your neighbor. Been there, done that with a neighbor myself...document EVERYTHING. The girl might need every bit of ammo one day from any source she can.
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breathtaken1 - 2005-04-19 22:23:06
Beautifully written.
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-20 00:47:01
Bravo, but what does Baby T have to do with your story?
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radiogurl - 2005-04-20 03:51:07
I lived that... The young woman is brainwashed into really believing that this loser is the best thing in her life. Her friend, your young neighbor, is a one-in-a-million. I hope she is seeing clearly enough to recognize the difference.
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mark - 2005-04-20 08:39:55
Hopefully she does see the problem that is occurring. But the old solution will always work...Hit on her, and men in ski masks and baseball bats come knocking down his door at 1100...
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Bill - 2005-04-21 00:26:41
Very cool entry. Glad I clicked over.
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katie d - 2005-04-21 22:22:48
You so totally rock. What a great entry. I will say a word too, for that brave guy and the girl.
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Full Moon

QUESTION: What's with that moon?

WHAT I LEARNED: Some drivers lack judgment.

Well another Sunday night is here and there is still so much I haven’t accomplished. The weekend seems so long and delightful on Friday night but by Sunday afternoon you know it is going way too fast for all those big plans. Clean the house from top to bottom becomes – put the dishes in the dishwasher, try to pick up, and wave a duster around. Start a diet translates to – maybe Monday. Catch up on paperwork morphs into - downloading screensavers onto the new laptop.

The best thing that happened to me this weekend was getting to spend time with my daughter. She said that she wasn’t going to go anywhere on Saturday night so we could have some mother/daughter time. Awww. That is so nice. Also, it was unexpected. Even though her boyfriend was working she could still have found a million other things to do because that is what being 18 is all about. I am glad I got on the A list this weekend. I feel like a star.

So we got our nails done, did some shopping, and then came home and just relaxed and watched some TV. We certainly had something to talk about during the commercials besides the cute shoes we both bought on sale. That is because we had an interesting and rather asinine ride home.

Here's how it happened...

We were driving along when someone honked their horn. It seemed to be a friend of my daughter’s and a very unobservant friend they seemed to be indeed. It didn’t take us long to realize that it wasn’t just a honk of the hello variety. This honk was may-I-have-your-attention-please honk. And then we saw why, although we still don’t know what all the fanfare was about.

I suppose it is funny to moon a female acquaintance on a Saturday night. I mean, how hysterical can you get? However, comic timing aside, a little further observation would have providing them some essential information that might have tempered their desire to provide a few moments of comic relief to a mundane weekend. They might have realized that they had a bigger audience than they had at first assumed. Our mother/daughter night had taken an inexplicable turn and there was no getting away from it. This adventure lasted quite a ways down the road. Really, I do admire those young men’s perseverance. Had they only know that my daughter had not a friend but her mother riding shotgun I am sure they would have stepped on the gas instead of lingered just ahead of us. Unfortunately for them, they did no such thing and consequently my daughter and I had a hysterical and strangely scenic trip home from the mall.

Her friend is never going to live this one down. After all, what young gentleman besides Aston Crutcher really wants someone’s mother looking at their butt – especially, when that mother is the mother of someone they actually know? There’s a price for rash action, gentleman. You have unwittingly paid it. I’m still laughing. Thank you very much. You provided the perfect comic moment to our mother-daughter evening. I’m ever so grateful.

I did learn some things too. Do you know what I discovered? When someone presses their butt cheeks against a car window, it never does their butt justice. It’s not a splendid sight – oh no, Rather it is a dismal, disappointing, extremely laughable sight. And what teenage boy really wants to know that some pretty girl’s mom is laughing at his sorry ass? I’m just asking.

So, I thought up a few basic rules for effective mooning. First, know who you are mooning. It’s essential to understand your audience. Two, don’t moon on a bumpy road. It’s lends a comical air to your endeavors. Three, know when to stop. If they have already seen you ass at the side window, you don’t need to display it in the rear window too. Four, consider the benefit of sitting in your seat and keeping your seatbelt buckled. We’d all breath a little easier. I’m sure your mother would breath a sigh of relief too.

Am I going to be laughing about this one for awhile? You can bet your ass on it.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

breathtaken1 - 2005-04-18 00:43:41
Thanks for the laugh. What an image to have in your head. Kids!
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Leslie - 2005-04-18 01:17:54
Sounds like you and your daughter had a nice and ummm amusing day!
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-18 08:06:27
When the moon his your eye like a big pizza pie? That's amore.
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art - 2005-04-18 08:39:03
hahahahaa!!! what a sight that must have been!!
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hcatty - 2005-04-18 12:40:56
Ah... the joys of youth...
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Sally - 2005-04-18 15:43:43
Hubby and cronies preferred the upscale touch of pressing the buns against a crystal tray (pilfered for the evening from one unknowing mom), popping up from the large ditch by the house and letting assets sparkle in the cut-glass glare of headlights. I suppose he didn't moon anyone, he La Lune'd them.
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Mary - 2005-04-18 19:09:15
That is pretty classic... something you will probably never forget! If I were your daughter I'd probably be just as horrified as the friend when he finds out he mooned her mom too! :-)
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katie d - 2005-04-21 22:33:02
lol; and a nice graphic, too! If I were your daughter, I would have wasted no time on Monday telling him he mooned my mom, too. But then, I have a mean streak that enjoys turning a joke around. :)
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Chocolate Confusion

QUESTION: What price chocolate?

WHAT I LEARNED: There ain't no free lunch.

If you go into a candy store where each piece of candy cost a couple bucks, it is unlikely that you are going to get a big lush strawberry dipped in chocolate for free. While I was purchasing a little bag of chocolate truffles recently, two ladies came into the shop. Obviously bedazzled by chocolate, they began to nibble on some chocolate-dipped fruits that were displayed on a fancy tray. Talk about living in a fantasy world. Have you ever looked at the price of those fancy fruits? They are definitely not the stuff of samples. The price of such naivety? A cool 10 bucks covered the price of exiting the store. Talk about unexpected splurges. How embarrassing. How expensive. And yet, how delightfully delicious.

I’m so glad it wasn’t me.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-13 22:48:28
I used to work at and rock that retail Gourmet Chocolate World. I miss it, anything is better than teaching most days.
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Poolagirl - 2005-04-13 23:28:29
My God! How mortifying!
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Geri - 2005-04-14 01:17:21
Awww, I feel bad for them. I hope your cold goes away soon. xx.
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michelle - 2005-04-14 01:46:42
yeah I am glad that was not me. *smile*
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golfwidow - 2005-04-14 13:04:57
I certainly hope there was a sign up stating, "These are not free samples" or they may wind up in trouble.
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Leslie - 2005-04-16 01:09:20
OMG! How embarrassing!!
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Opheliafic - 2005-04-16 16:00:47
Okay, I am so glad this was not me. At least I would have the good sense to *ask* before just eating. I feel so embarrassed for them.
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Chubby Mum - 2005-04-17 17:30:34
Some people live in a dreamworld don't they GEESH
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Cold Coming On

QUESTION: Where's the vitamin C?

WHAT I LEARNED: You're always going to catch a kid's cold.

You know how it is when you feel a cold coming on – like you are okay in the a.m. and then by the afternoon you are miserable. In the period of a few hours today I went from feeling good to feeling bad. I could feel the cold settling in for a visit while I sat in an afternoon meeting. By the time the meeting was over I knew that although my son was well on his way to getting over his cold, he had handed it off to me. This is really bad timing. This is a busy week for me. I’m drinking herbal tea, promising myself I’ll get to bed early, breaking out the tissue, and hoping for a speedy recovery.

On a happier note, go congratulate Spritopias on his 2,000th entry. You read that right - 2000th entry. I'm impressed.

And to all you librarians out there - Happy Library Week!

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-11 23:43:17
I would be vitamin C if someone would take me
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Pat-Star - 2005-04-12 00:03:08
i want my pictures back...
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radiogurl - 2005-04-12 00:30:12
Awww *hugs* I hope your cold dies a quick, painless death and leaves you alone!
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hcatty - 2005-04-13 12:39:14
Get well soon!!
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Mary - 2005-04-13 21:32:54
Hope you feel better! Plenty of rest!
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katie d - 2005-04-14 04:54:12
feel better soon!
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JAILHOUSE ROCK

QUESTION: What are the visiting hours?

WHAT I LEARNED: Love is blind.

Since last time I posted, I have found myself busy with the criminal justice system. One of my friends wound up getting arrested and thrown in jail – breaking a protective order. It’s a case of committing one of the easiest crimes in the world – marrying badly. This is what happens sometimes when all your family and friends say – don’t marry that woman - and you do it anyway. Eventually, in these situations there is a good possibility that while you are running through the flower fields of your infatuation, others may be getting a better view of your beloved than you might be able to do. It’s the blinders. It’s easy to put them on and just run willy-nilly through the daisies and down the aisle. In these situations, you may beat the odds, confound your friends and family, and be blissfully happy, but I’d say the odds are against that when so many people around you have so many concerns about your lady love. Instead, you may find yourself estranged, with a protective order in place, and half your personal possessions gone with the wind before the divorce papers are even filed.

However, live and learn. So that is how I found myself visiting an adult detention center this past weekend.

Have you ever tried to visit someone in jail? It’s quite an experience. The building is like a fortress. The floor where visitors check in smells like disinfectant with a touch of vomit. Upstairs where you sit in hard plastic chairs and wait to see your unfortunate friend, you can real feel the solid isolation of the place. The whole building seems to hum a big cold still ominous kind of hum – like there is no day or night or season. Just time – humming. Not in a nice way. Everything feels thick – the walls, the windows – everything.

I went over twice. Both times I wound up not being able to see my friend. I was sorry about that but still - I was glad to get out of that place and back outside. Glad to go back home in my own car, eat carryout, hang out with my kids, and do ordinary things. What I discovered is that there are plenty of rules – about visiting, phone calls, medicine, and everything in between – for the inmates and the visitors. There doesn't seem to be any flexibility about it either. I like flexibility. This experience made me realize how much we take for granted everyday – our ordinary freedoms. Even with the demands, the bosses, the kids, the overwork, the bills, the chores, at least we have some flexibility to do it our way. It may be just getting a cup of coffee when we want it, or an extra hour sleep, or a phone call to a friend, or a walk around the block but there it is – freedom in a nutshell. I appreciate that a little more today.

And my friend? He’s doing well and is perhaps a little wiser if a little worse for wear.

radiogurl - 2005-04-08 01:41:03
Well said - and very sad for your friend. I only hope he isn't there by doing something that you don't know about...
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Doc - 2005-04-08 07:04:16
I almost married someone who set off alarms for all of my family and friends. But...I was strong and smart enough to realize there were significant problems that couldn't be worked out. My heart goes out to your friend.
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boxx - 2005-04-08 09:31:17
What is it that he did? WHY is he in jail?
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Sally - 2005-04-08 10:41:56
What did he do? Try to get some of his stuff back? Poor guy, hopefully he can be rid of her soon.
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sunnflower - 2005-04-08 13:15:01
He didn't do anything. She got a protective order which seems to be very common in pre-divorce situations these days and then every time that the guy drives down the street to the grocery store she calls the police.
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Summer Gale - 2005-04-08 13:17:34
The Ex used to land in jail regularly. I kicked butt getting him out every time but once because i thought it was so awful in there. Hopefully your friend will be arraingned and released quickly.
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Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-08 15:08:59
at least he can star in remakes of elvis movies now, he should drive another way to the store - every guy knows that they are not going to get the benefit of the doubt over the word of their exwife.
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chocolate chaos - 2005-04-08 15:31:09
i am looking forward to freedom....
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Jim - 2005-04-11 12:24:21
Many years ago I taught in a New York State prison -- not a warm and happy place.
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katie d - 2005-04-21 22:40:46
Gee, another well-written entry. I love that you think of the things you think about, by the way. I love better still that you share them. This is why I think you're almost perfectly cool. :) I hope your friend is getting outta there, soon, too. And the next time I go running thru a field of daisies? I *so* want you there to observe the running and make any wry comments you deem necessary! kd
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The ABC's of Suburban Island

QUESTION: Have you done your ABC's?

WHAT I LEARNED: Everybody's got their own ABC's.

Borrowed from Diary of a Suburban Housewife:

ABC's Suburban Island Style

Accent: Slightly southern.
Bra Size: That information requires a security clearance.
Chore I Hate: Cleaning up after other people.
Dad’s Name: Ed.
Essential Make-Up: Lipstick and blush. Soft tones of shimmery shadow and black mascara.
Favorite Perfume: Tommy Hilfiger’s T Girl, Tommy Girl Summer Perfume, and Davidoff’s Cool Water.
Gold or Silver: Either but lean towards silver these days.
Hometown: Suburban Maryland.
Interesting Fact: I have a lifelong love of libraries.
Job Title: Hey, you.
Kids: Two – 18 year old daughter and 15 year old son.
Living Arrangements: I live on Suburban Island with a husband, 2 teenagers, and a bunch of fish.
Mom’s Birthplace: Wilkes-Barrie, PA.
Number of apples eaten in last week: None.
Overnight Hospital Stays: I believe that would be 5 overnight visits.
Phobia: Heights.
Question You Ask Yourself a Lot: How can I get all this done?
Religious Affiliation: I’m a nice Catholic girl.
Siblings: A younger brother.
Time I Wake Up: During the week it depends upon my schedule. I sleep in on the weekends.
Unnatural Hair Color: Marilyn Monroe blonde and more than once a gorgeous red.
Vegetable I Refuse To Eat: No lima beans please!
Worst Habit: Tardiness.
X-rays: Plenty.
Yummy Food I Make: Crispy butterfly noodles with parmesan cheese and butter.
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

Christopias Spritopher - 2005-04-03 18:10:06
my zodiac sign is the golden arches
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Carolyn - 2005-04-04 07:56:13
This was a very fun twist on the 100 things about me! I plan to borrow (steal) it soon.
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Doc - 2005-04-04 10:10:25
I just stole your survey thingie. I think CowgirlJules did one a couple days ago too...
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Jim - 2005-04-04 12:56:42
Wonder if there's a male version of that? Yeah, I suppose I could convert it... what to put in place of bra size? Change perfume to after shave?
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Summer Gale - 2005-04-04 13:22:20
If you see me write about intense freakin Scorpio's don't take offense! Scorpios are everywhere in my life. Heck one daughter, one granddaughter, one son in law and two of my past dates in the last 6 months. So really I love them but wowsers intense, loyal guys but don't cross em or deal with their PMS.
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katie d - 2005-04-07 05:02:01
consider that stolen. :) no time no talk to. hope all is well! :) xo, kd
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Time Trips Me Up

QUESTION: Is time really relative?

What I learned: Think about a spare key.

Time is my enemy.

It really is.

Not because I am aging at the speed of light – especially since I now have a teen in the house with a learner’s permit and another in her first year of college still under my roof. Not because I have an unquenchable desire to be eternally 29 throughout my adult life like the chick in that cosmetic commercial who gets away with lying about her age all due to the wonders of modern lotions. I just want to get to things on time and I have a hard time accomplishing this some days.

Like yesterday…

I had an appointment in morning. I was late. I shouldn’t have been late. Except I was. Because being late is like a calling, or an art form, or a challenge. Because no matter how well I plan things, in the end there is always something – some forgotten matter, some suddenly pressing work task, some lost item of apparel, some household task, or some maternal duty that causes me to become distracted from my goal of timely arrival at my destination.

I had time to think about this while I was sitting, and sitting, and sitting in my car. In the traffic jam. Because we all know that whenever we really need to be somewhere there will be traffic jam between us and our destination.

So there I sat in my car on a road that looked an awful lot like a parking lot and my destination rising up – so close and yet so unattainable in the near distance, I thought I couldn’t be late (again). But I was late. In fact, it was getting later and later and yet I wasn’t get any closer to the place I really needed to be than I had been ½ hour before. That was because I was in a proper traffic jam - the kind with police cars instead of unexplained delays. There were, in fact, a lot of police cars on the bridge into town – over 12 of them. I needed to count them because they were my excuse.

It took me about 2 hours to get into town. I don’t live 2 hours out of town. I parked my car and went about my business – late but making up for it with the overachievement necessary to erase one’s lateness.

Later in the day when I went to get my car out of the garage I was startled by a terrible sight and that sight was blocking the access to the building in which the parking lot housing my car was located. Tons of giggly school kids were standing in a huge line – there must have been at least 200 of them. They were all in line to get into the building where my car was nestled in its $17 dollars a day parking space. The guard didn’t like it when I asked if I could pass through to get to the parking lot. He thought it would be better if I stood in the back of the line. I looked down the row. Each one of these kids was going to have to go through the building security before passing on. I imagined the long wait time – minus any giggly friends of my own. In the end I decided to walk around the block to go in through a side entrance with a much shorter line. Walking does a girl good. Short lines are a thing of beauty.

Now however there was the labyrinth parking garage to traverse to find my car and since I came in a different entrance I no longer had my bearings. We all need a good tramp in the cement woods – gas and exhaust fumes, dirty grey walls, and cars whizzing round sudden curves is quite entertaining and good exercise too. Finally, off in the dim distance, I saw my car. Hello little car – my heart cried out. How I missed you. Take me home. I have an iced tea and I will not spill it on your upholstery. We can listen to my new Las Vegas Baby CD. It’ll be fun.I had hardly gotten the thoughts telegraphed to my trusty wheels than I made a terrible discovery. My keys were dangling in the car ignition and the car was locked.

You can imagine how thrilled my husband when I gave him a call and told him he would have to drive back downtown (where he had just come from) to bring me another key. I only heard a few really bad words before he hung up the phone to head back my way. That’s a good fellow. Some days it’s hard to be a husband.

My day was getting longer by the minute. Much longer. I hung out by the buses that had ferried the kids into town and waiting for the elusive and much desired key. Eventually the husband and the key did arrive. It was a pretty exciting moment. Freedom was almost within my grasp.

Now to actually get the car out of the garage. Back through security I went. Back down the elevator. Back through the labyrinth underground structure that held my car in its clutches. I found my car, put the key in the lock, and followed the exit signs – kind of. I accidentally pulled into the monthly only lane. Uh oh. I’m surprised I didn’t cause a riot. As I paid my 17 bucks, the nice lady in the cashier booth said – have a nice day, honey.

It really appreciated the wish. Hearing those few words was one of the nicest things that had happened to me all day and underlined for me the power of the casual interchange in the hearts and souls of men, women, and children.

I pulled out of the garage, the traffic enfolded me. I headed for home. Somehow, strangely, satisfied. Somehow, strangely, late again.

Comments to Alice in Suburbia:

radiogurl - 2005-04-02 23:19:49
I hate days like those - and have them every now and them. *Hugs* Here's to a better day tomorrow, and the next, and the next...
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breathtaken1 - 2005-04-03 03:31:12
You poor thing. What a day you had. Hugs from me too. It made an entertaining story though :)
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Yvonne - 2005-04-03 09:16:31
And here we "lost" an hour this morning. We need to accept the fact we will never catch up and enjoy the moments!
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radiogurl - 2005-04-03 17:53:07
Diaryland is again messed up. Oh joy.
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